Thursday, December 23
too soon the years fly by. i don't want to let go, not now, not ever. i know i said i'm going to stop walking forward and looking backward.. but.. how can i, when what lies ahead is too frightening to think about? i don't want to spend every breathing moment of my life thinking about the past. about us. the class, how things used to be. walking down the corridors chatting nineteen to the dozen.
i was at hc just now to fill in some forms regarding my ezlink card. some bballers were training there and i could feel their cold stares on my back as i hurried past. i guess people like me don't belong to a specific genre. i'm not sporty. make me walk half a mile and you'll never hear the end of it. i'm not super smart or oozing with intelligence. please, i can't even spell. i'm not the mini-skirt socialising sort. i just don't belong to any particular class of people. i'm me. i might wear a short skirt sometimes but i hate socialising. i might like reading but i also like stoning.
i guess i won't fit in, even in jc. i didn't really fit in here in st marg's but for some reason that didn't bother me after the first few days. i guess it's cos i was blessed enough to stumble unto you guys within the first hour of school. =) you know, i think ours is quite a unique case. and i want history to repeat itself, 3rd jan, for all of us. may we all find wonderfully close friends whom we can rely on, whom we can turn to no matter what, and may we find them
fast before we sink and die.
i don't even know why i want to fit in. i'm me, i'm not about to compromise who i am for the sake of some peace. i love music, and words.. put them together and i really
love songs. maybe i'm a little blunt and curt, and i when i decide not to care about someone, or don't decide to care for them, i go all out to exist like they don't. but when i
do decide to care, i care a lot. maybe i won't show it a lot. i'm not the sort of person who says 'i love you' every day. but i hug my friends a lot. i don't know. i don't want any superficial friendships. if i can't have real, deep, genuine friends in jc.. i won't make do with aquaintances and pretend they're friends. i've still kept friends from primary school. i'll keep those i have now. forever and ever and ever amen. make new friends and keep the old.. one is silver, and the other gold..
it must've been love.
11:31 pm
xoxo
